


I get afraid of losing my way

by Spread_your_wings02



Series: Save Me [6]
Category: Bohemian Rhapsody (Movie 2018), Queen (Band)
Genre: Brian is protective, Brian is the sweetest, Depression, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Maylor if you squint, Roger needs a hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-27
Updated: 2019-02-27
Packaged: 2019-11-06 16:34:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,349
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17943299
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Spread_your_wings02/pseuds/Spread_your_wings02
Summary: Roger opened his eyes. His first thought was that today was not a good day. He was desperately trying to stay afloat as the water crashed over his head, his thoughts drowning him. He needed help.And help came.





	I get afraid of losing my way

**Author's Note:**

> Requested by Renegade Hero (Scarletarrow)
> 
>  
> 
> *TRIGGER WARNING*  
> Mentions of depression and self-harm. If this triggers you, please don't read this.

Roger opened his eyes. His first thought was that today was not a good day. He could feel himself drift away from the world as he lay there, disconnecting himself from the only light he knew. He blinked, relishing in the darkness for a split second, before light hit his eyes again. His face held no expression, mimicking the numbness that was coursing through his body. He sighed. It hadn’t been this bad in a while. He guessed he should get up. He knew he should get up. But the bitterness that was creeping into his mind held no room for motivation. So, he continued to lay there. The sun passed through the windows, delicate light dancing on his sunken features. He prayed this wouldn’t last long. He didn’t like taking a back seat as his body just went through the motions. But he felt trapped, caged into his own mind. And so, he lay there, each minute getting more and more lost in his own head. He was desperately trying to stay afloat as the water crashed over his head, his thoughts drowning him. He needed help.

 

And help came.

\----------------------------------------------------------

Brian knew something was off. Something was wrong. He watched as Roger entered the studio, avoiding eye contact with his band mates, before sitting behind his drumkit. Brian’s eyes narrowed as he watched Roger stare, obviously lost in thought. ‘ _Or in his own head_ ,’ Brian thought.

_He had noticed it the first time way back when the two of them were in Smile. He noticed how Roger’s smile lessened. How his laugh sounded hollow, and how his face became pale. How his blue eyes had stopped sparkling, turning dull, and were surrounded by dark circles. At the time, he didn’t know what was happening, and after approaching Roger several times, receiving only a ‘I’m fine Bri,’ Brian decided he would have to figure it out himself._

_After weeks of gathering up the things that had changed in Roger, he took it upon himself to visit the library, drifting between shelves in the medical section. By the time had found the thing that matched all of Roger’s symptoms, Brian gulped. It made sense, he knew that, but he wasn’t 100% sure that was what was happening, and therefore needed to find a way to confirm it._

_A few days later, he was in Roger’s flat when he stumbled upon a prescription on the table. Brian knew he shouldn’t read it, but his worry for his friend was growing at a concerning rate, so he glanced at the paper. And his findings were correct._

_Depression._

_Brian immediately swamped Roger in a hug, the blonde confused at Brian’s sudden sign of affection. Brian pulled back and looked at Roger._

_“I’m here for you Rog, I promise. I will help you through this,” Brian whispered, before pulling Roger back into a hug. He felt to the drummer relax slightly in his arms. Roger wasn’t sure what to say. He couldn’t think about anything but the warm embrace that surrounded him. It made him feel safe. It was as if Brian was his light house, guiding him back to the shore. Roger didn’t know he was crying until Brian’s shirt became wet._

_“I won’t let you fall,” Brian whispered into his hair. And Roger felt something. He was unsure what it was, but something had broken through the empty and had struck him. It made his chest tighten slightly and his breath hitch. It was hope. He had hope._

_“I trust you Brian,” Roger whispered back._

Ever since then, Brian could always tell when Roger was having bad days. And when he was having very bad days. Roger always kept it to himself, claiming he didn’t want to force his problems onto other people. But there were little signs that would show Brian that the blonde was having a hard time. Which is why, when Brian saw that Roger was avoiding everyone, he knew it was one of those days. Brian excused himself from the conversation he was having with Freddie and John, before moving swiftly towards the drummer.

“Hey Rog. You okay?”

Roger looked up from his drums, his expression as emotionless as it had been a second ago. Roger nodded slightly, before flicking his eyes away from Brian.

“Do you need to go home? I can take you,” Brian asked, placing a hand on the drummer’s. He knew his touch would ground Roger, so left the hand there. Roger turned his head so that he was looking at Brian. A few beats past before he gave a shallow nod. Brian nodded in response before holding out his hand, which Roger took, and helped him up and off the drum risers.

“I’m taking Roger home. He’s not very well,” Brian said, interrupting the conversation John and Freddie were having. Concern flashed over their faces.

“You don’t look well Roger dear. I hope you feel better soon,” Freddie said, a soft smile gracing his features.

“Make sure you rest Roger. You look like you need it,” John added, also with a small smile.  
Roger didn’t respond, so Brian said goodbye to the guys before pulling Roger out to the car.

The car ride was silent. Roger was staring aimlessly out of the window, and Brian kept glancing back at him. Once they were back at the flat, Brian helped Roger out of the car and took him into their home.

“Bed or sofa?”

A moment passed, before Roger croaked out an answer.

“Sofa.”

Brian sat Roger on the sofa, then proceeded to collect Roger’s duvet, as well as his own, and place them on the sofa, putting one around Roger, and leaving the other one for himself. He then headed to the kitchen, making them both a cup of tea, before coming back and placing them on the coffee table. He sunk back into his duvet beside Roger, lifting the edge up, allowing the blonde to snuggle into his side.

A while passed before Brian spoke: “Have you got anything to tell me Rog?” Brian said softly. Roger shook his head. Roger knew what Brian meant by that question. When things were really bad, back in Smile, he self-harmed, and when Brian found the scars on his legs, he always wanted to make sure that Roger never got to that point again. So, when Roger was having bad days, Brian would always ask. Roger hadn’t done it in around 2 years, and he was proud of that. But there were some days when he nearly gave in. So far though, he hadn’t.

“How did it get this bad Rog?”

Roger shrugged. “I could feel it slowly getting worse over the last week.”

“Why didn’t you say anything?” Brian questioned.

“Because it’s my problem Brian. I don’t want to force it onto you as well,” Roger whispered.

Brian sighed. “You know that’s not right Rog. Promise me you’ll tell me next time.”

“I promise,” Roger mumbled. They both knew it was a lie. Roger would end up keeping it to himself again, and Brian would have to go through the same process that he had today.

Roger moved his body, so he was lying across the sofa, placing his head in Brian’s lap.

“You won’t let me fall Brian,” Roger whispered, more of a question.

Brian smiled. “Never.”

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Later that evening, Freddie and John came home to find Roger asleep with his head in Brian’s lap, Brian’s hands carding through the blonde hair.

“How is he?” John asked, gesturing to the blonde.

“He’s getting there,” Brian responded. The other two nodded and proceeded to go to the kitchen.

Brian looked down at Roger, his hands still running through the blonde hair. He hoped that Roger would drift back out of his really bad days, as he normally does. It usually takes a few days of Brian keeping a close eye on him, but Brian would do anything for his best friend. He would always look out for him. Look after him. Because he had made Roger a promise. And he would never break it.

**Author's Note:**

> Hi :)
> 
> I'm starting a series for hurt Roger prompts. They don't necessarily have to be hurt, they can be angst, comfort etc.  
> I'm taking requests but I also have my own ideas. Also, if you want a ship, let me know, otherwise it will just be friendships.  
> I've made it a series, as some prompts, and some ideas of my own, may need to be a few chapters long.
> 
> I hope you liked this chapter:)


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